I read once that ‘everything you want is on the other side of fear’.
That is a very strong and absolute statement, and if it is remotely true, should be paid much attention, and require thorough analysis. There is enough content in the statement for many theses, and I am sure many have been published. For you and me, in simple terms, let’s examine some of those fears, and try to unravel them. But before we carry on, here are some thoughts to digest.
The antidote of fear is love because ‘perfect love casts out all fear, as fear involves torment’ as per The Word. Do not be enslaved by avoidable fears.
And what is to be gained on the ‘other side of fear’? Possibly the greatest desire for most people…FREEDOM! Just imagine living a life without fear, or a life where you are in control of your fears. Imagine the PEACE. These are worthy of daily effort. We are not talking about control of our circumstances, but control of our thought processes despite our circumstances. As the saying goes: we can’t control our circumstances, but we can control the way we respond to them.

We have spoken previously on the fear of failure, the fear of rejection and the fear of commitment (refer to article ‘Don’t Allow Fear to Rule You 1’). These keep us enslaved, compromise personal growth, disconnect us from our dreams, and disable us from reaching our potential.
However, there are many other fears…But first a short anecdote on taking back some territory over a childhood fear.

When I was growing up, I developed a fear of heights, which is really a fear of falling. Over the years I have engaged in some activities which would require a degree of overcoming. But four years ago, my fear of heights was tested to the limit, when I was invited to a rock-climbing session. I looked at the indoor wall with all its handholds and toeholds, and it seemed OK. I had chosen one of the easier routes, carefully colour-coded to the top. I had a harness and an experienced belayer. This is somebody who manages the rope to which the harness is attached, and which holds you to bring you down and in case you fall or get tired halfway and want to abandon the climb. In my case, my belayer was also somebody who I needed to impress. It was Inge, who was to become my wife a year later. This was a test, and I wanted to hide a fear, an area of weakness. I wanted to display that I was not afraid of mere heights. It would take more than 16 sheer metres to scare me. That is more than five storeys. It is high. But I had bravado and adrenaline to help me. My beloved belayer, who I was trying so hard to impress, casually told me to signal when I reached the top. Not if.
Was I scared before starting? Yes, but nothing like the terror I felt when I was about 10 metres up and looked down. The people below me were tiny, mostly because of the angle. I forced myself to look up and realised that it was shorter to the top than to the bottom. Giving up before reaching the top was not an option, so on I went to the top. I had relied and trusted on my own climbing skills, my tight grip on the hand and foot holds to get there. As I reached the top a new fear grabbed me. I was going to have to let go of the wall and trust Inge to rope me down to safety. I was going to have to trust the harness and the clever looping and knotting of the rope to hold me. I looked down and made a sign that I had reached the top and was ready to be let down. Inge was kind. She took up the slack until I felt the harness taking up some of my weight. Eventually, I let go and began a controlled descent to the floor occasionally kicking myself off the wall like you see in the movies. Except that I did not feel any control.
When my feet touched the padded floor, the feeling of relief flooded all over me. I was white as a sheet, and instantly broke out in a sweat, seemingly from every pore in my body. I had just done something that I would never have done unless I had been challenged. I had certainly not overcome a fear, but I had pushed through it and proved to myself that I could. I went on to climb two more walls that afternoon and felt pretty good.
A couple of weeks later we were back, and the next challenge was to climb a wall with the security of an ‘auto-belay’ only. This like an auto-reel which takes up slack but only activates when there is a jerk on the rope, typically when you let go the wall, wherever you are on it, whether at the top or not. This a new level of trust. There is still a harness and a rope, but there is no human to create an extra sense of security.
When I reached the top, it took a long time for me to let go the wall. I could have stayed there indefinitely but my hands were getting tired, and I was being forced to dig deeper into my character than ever. Eventually, I did let go, and for the briefest moment I was in freefall before the auto-belay kicked in and brought me down safely.
I wish I could tell you that I have overcome my fear of falling. I have not, but I have controlled it enough to enjoy going climbing regularly and it has opened another sporting activity which I can maintain well into later years.

Back to more everyday fears.
Let’s go back in time, not very far, less than five years.
We all remember Covid and the resultant lockdown. What were the fears that ruled us?
The World Health Authority, aided and abetted by other powers, managed to convince presidents and key leaders around the world, that this disease posed the greatest threat in history to human survival. What fears did the WHO and the virus trigger in the world, which forced almost eight billion people indoors and into isolation?
Initially everyone feared getting sick and even dying. As the lockdown started to bite, other fears began to emerge. For the people who needed a daily wage, for the many small business owners who needed human traffic to stay alive, and for those who had immediately lost their sources of income, the fear of poverty began to outgrow the fear of becoming infected. In any event, Covid was not necessarily a death sentence for most. Many of the people who were asked the question said that they would prefer taking the risk of contracting the virus rather than not working and earning and thus becoming poor.
The following fears were on full display: Death, Ill health, Poverty.
What fears do you carry with you every day? What fears are limiting your development?
How do these fears affect your daily life? What risks are you not taking which are preventing you from moving to the next level?
The question to ask is whether you are feeding your fear or your faith.
Which fear are you feeding to the detriment of other areas of your life?
What fears are instinctive and what fears are cultivated? Avoidable or unavoidable?

Fear is a normal emotion, but paying too much attention depletes your energy, and weakens your efforts at moving forward.
It is an interesting fact that many rebel groups use young teenagers in their militia. These are soldiers who have less fears than others because of their young age. They have not yet learned the consequences or possible consequences of reckless behaviour. They are therefore prepared to take more risks, are more brazen, and are more likely to be in the frontline. We can deduce therefore that many fears are acquired during our lifetimes.
Let me add another fear: that of ageing.
Getting older is a natural process, but there are lifestyles which maintain good health; like regular exercise, healthy eating, and no smoking to name but a few. Having said that, everyone ages differently, at different stages in life, depending on genetics, socio economic conditions, and many other factors. Getting old is inevitable and one should take account of it, prepare for it, and accept it. We get lines; it’s a sign that we have lived and laughed. We lose hair; that’s mostly genetic. We go grey; it arrives sooner or later. We can’t move as fast; it’s inevitable. Do we have to accept it? Of course, unless you live a life of denial, or try to hide the natural process, which in any event, can only be sustained for a season.

But so many people simply refuse to age gracefully and many of them spend large sums and devote much time, often in secret, to reverse the effects of time. This quest for staying young in appearance, staying ‘attractive’, staying desirable is not a new phenomenon. It has been going on for millennia. In previous times, only the aristocracy and wealthy had access to treatments which by today’s standards offered modest improvements. However modern medicine and equipment makes a huge range of options available, and to a greater part of the population. The motivating factors, I believe are vanity (worship of self, ego, pride) and acceptance. These are rooted in insecurity and can absolutely be brought under control.

To go on a slight tangent, I believe that much of the insurance industry is fuelled by fear created by unlikely and imagined scenarios as though they were likely to happen. But this is a discussion for a different platform.

Finally, we should not ignore our fears to the point of recklessness, but we should be aware of them and seek ways to bring them under control. There is always something to be gained when we overcome a fear.