I am talking about being resilient as a human being or a businessman.
There are several definitions for the word ‘resilience’ but most of them refer to the ability to withstand, or recover from failure or setback.
We have all faced trials, disappointments, tribulations, betrayals, failures, and setbacks. There is an endless list of how these present themselves and when they occur in our lives. From relationship failures and wayward children to business reversals, serious illness, and even the extreme case of losing a child, the reality is that life must go on despite them and especially after them. The question is: How do we respond to life’s curved balls?
To quote John Maxwell, “The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.” Achieving people all have a few things in common; they have determination, they have clearly defined goals, they realise that talent is not enough, they know that you cannot ‘drift’ to a destination, they are prepared to work on themselves, they are prepared to make sacrifices, they know that they will face resistance, they expect and anticipate setbacks.
Successful people don’t expect life to be easy and that to make their dream a reality will require resilience.
Average people respond to difficulties in many ways; some abandon hope altogether, some stop trying and accept that they will never get there; others will start believing they are not gifted, or come from the wrong background; still others will not take responsibility, blame others, and live in denial.
When we understand that trials and failures are part of success, we begin to understand that we need to be resilient. We need to be able to bounce back and resume the journey of life without becoming burdened by the trials of life.
The first step is to accept that there will be hardship. Everyone has them.
The second step is to realise that failing does not make you a failure.
The third step is to consider what can be learned from the event.
The fourth step is to not allow the setback to destroy the vision.
The fifth and final step is to not fear the next failure.
I am often reminded of the following quotes which all include bouncing back from setbacks, or even repeated failure. This is the principle of resilience.
John Rohn
“You cannot change your destination overnight,
But you can change your direction overnight.”
Carl Bard
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
Anyone can start from now and make a new ending.”
We cannot allow ourselves to wallow in self pity for what could have been, should have been, or might have been. Setbacks provide opportunities to reflect, introspect and learn. Setbacks build character. They give us time to adjust our strategy. Setbacks of any kind allow us to build resilience by viewing them as an essential part of success.
Maybe you were brought up like me and were taught to avoid failure at almost at any cost. I spent many years thinking that big setbacks could not happen to people ‘like me’. After all, I came from a ‘good’ home, went to a good school, attended night classes, was a talented sportsman, held my own academically and socially, so there was no reason to expect large-scale failure. When it did happen, I was not remotely prepared for it. Suddenly, it seemed, failure came from several quarters at once. It seemed like my whole future was at stake and in many ways it was. My family life, my business life, my self esteem, and my reputation were involved. I had gone from a highly successful young entrepreneur, viewed by some as a prodigy, to an absolute wreck by every measurable yardstick.
My life had imploded.
Was I lost? Yes. Did I lose confidence? Yes. Did I lose hope? No. What did I learn? That there was still a meaningful future beyond this crisis. What did I need? Reflection, introspection, a vision and resilience. It took many years to recover, during which time I had a rich field of learning opportunities. The crisis in my life at that time seemed to have arrived suddenly, but actually had been a build-up of inattention, with many warnings which I chose to ignore. I had concluded that my early success was a guarantee of future success. I did not know John Maxwell’s wise words that “what got you to where you are, won’t keep you there”. I had failed to understand the concept that we need to be growing continuously to keep moving forward. More especially as the new century has converted an already complicated world into a complex one. I now know that external growth is fuelled by internal growth, and internal growth will often include growing pains.
Early success proved to be a thorn in my flesh. Early success clouded and confused my judgement and discernment, and allowed me to make a series of inferior decisions. For years it led me to believe that I had the Midas touch, and that any business I started would go on to become another success story. I had not factored in that success is 20% talent and 80% attitude.
The ‘right’ attitude includes the following:
- Willingness to grow and see thing from a different perspective
- Viewing failure and setbacks as stepping stones
- Willingness to pay the necessary price
- Being and remaining teachable
Given that God gives us the gift of potential, and our gift back to Him is to develop that potential, it therefore becomes our responsibility to keep moving forward in the face of life’s challenges. We don’t ignore the events of the past, we learn from them. We should not be held hostage by the events of our past. We use them to shape our character and sharpen our skills. John Maxwell talks about return on failure, making a convincing argument that our failures are assets rather than liabilities.
Sir Josiah Stamp said:
“It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of our responsibilities.”
And Winston Churchill said:
Success is not final; failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.
I am living proof that we are all ‘works in progress’, and that the journey to our potential never stops. My advice is to not be afraid to introspect, find areas which need adjustments, and have the courage to make the necessary changes.
Contact us for information regarding a growth or leadership plan.
www.acceleratedgrowth.co.za
